Don’t scream out my name in bed. Scream out random fractions instead.

“4 am—if I’m ever up that early, it’s because I’m up that late.”

“You are getting a wooden leg for your birthday, and you are going to love it. I…”

“Yeah, I enjoy musical chairs. My furniture is deaf, so it gets rather interesti…”

“Love is a circular emotion that surrounds you, like a hug. Or a noose.”