Every new thought of mine is like my child. And as soon as it is conceived, I must abandon it. I might return to dote on it later, or I might try to strangle it or drown it with logic.

“My plan to live from 65 to forever is to simply keep showing up. I also don’t w…”

“I’m as deadly as a marine, when compared to marine plant life. It took lots of …”

“The best part of the word "booboo" is the breast. While the word doesn't suck, …”

“A blanket could be used like a trumpet could be used as a murder weapon. And if…”