Experience is the best teacher I've ever had. I'm sorry, Mr. Sortz, but it's true.

“If I own a business, I work for myself. And if I have no revenue, I work for fr…”

“I called the police to report my missing mustache, but they didn’t take me seri…”

“My heart is closed, but open. Closed to one woman in particular, but open to th…”

“I don’t just love you, I love you a 9.7. I would love you a 10, but who do you …”