For me, the badlands are entirely too naughty. The whole time I was in South Dakota I felt like I needed a spanking.

“Toothpaste pie is no substitute for swishing around minty-fresh love in your mo…”

“A brick could be broken—shattered—and then given as a gift, a jigsaw puzzle.
”

“A brick could be used to wipe your ass with. You know, if you already live some…”

“I don’t just watch TV all day long. I also listen.”