For your birthday I got you some batteries. They’re dead, just like you’ll soon be.

“My love for you would blot out the sun like a cloud made out of yogurt. I hope …”

“I am a fisherman, a hunter, and a lover. A lover of men, not animals. And by me…”

“I think the best time to stare off into space is when you’re going 65 on a moto…”

“If you’re a cannibal, an Olympic sprinter would be considered fast food.”