Garbage truck beepers belong in a symphony. Or would that really put the phony in symphony?

“A brick could replace the cardboard bill on a baseball cap. On a windy day, no …”

“As an extreme method of saving, I’d kidnap myself, if I thought I’d actually pa…”

“Love is when you love someone’s spirit as much as their body, even if their spi…”

“I’ll get a gift for you, but I’ll give it to someone else to give to you, so th…”