Give people a little, and they’ll want a lot. Give them a lot, and they’ll only want a little.

“When a guy at the urinal says to me, "If you shake it more than twice, you're p…”

“Politicians are like warts on the body of society. And the only thing worse tha…”

“I gave my girlfriend a gallon of my semen and a minivan and told her to fill it…”

“After the first meal with a new girlfriend’s family, I always like to say, “Wil…”