Guacamole makes an excellent facial cream. It won’t reduce wrinkles, but I’d sure enjoy scraping it off your skin while you sleep, as I munch on nachos as quietly as I can.

“Today I ate my manuscript with the very spoon I used to write it with. My book …”

“Who wants to be the unsung heroes of my voiceless choir quartet? We’re the Hele…”

“There’s nothing I like better than a beautiful sunset. Except maybe a gorgeous …”

“Apple is the Ferrari of the computer world. I’m not sure if the “engine” is sup…”