He was still a douchecanoe. The douchecanoe who was going to paddle me to safety.

“I was hoping you’d come out and get me." I put my hands on my hips and cocked m…”

“The more I thought about it, the more I worried I wouldn’t be good enough.”

“Ah, dear, sweet Eden. To quote the great Rhett Butler, you need to be fucked an…”

“It was like if I gave up on Perry then I was giving up on love forever. Dramati…”