Her legs are so long and sexy that I can see them 26.2 miles away. Gatorade.


“I hate the phrase “Shit or get off the pot,” because I rarely cook with feces.”

“I made an ice sculpture that represents my love for you. It never melts.”

“If you’re a cannibal, an Olympic sprinter would be considered fast food.”

“I am the Wakeboard of Love, if you catch my drift.”