He’s only two years younger, but that doesn’t mean I’m not old enough to be his father. I grew up fast. Ah, but that’s life, no?

“I like to spoon after I fork.”

“I suffer from tennis elbow. It’s an old masturbating injury from when I was tra…”

“Her legs are so long and sexy that I can see them 26.2 miles away. Gatorade.
”

“My baby nephew is a real ladies man. He doesn't need to pick up women. They pic…”