Hey, turn down the volume on your “How To Make Love Like Lucifer Hand Guide Volume II” audio book a little bit. I’m trying to sacrifice a goat, a burnt offering, and I need silence to start a fire using just my laser-like focus.

“Her name was Rebecca. Or at least that’s what her nametag said. She was making …”

“People are so particular. Unlike animals, which can be lions, eagles, or sharks…”

“The only thing better than being productive, is being reproductive.
”

“I launder dirty money. You should see my washing machine. (It’s filthy!)”