How’s my mom? My mother’s well, like a painting—a Motherwell.

“A brick could be used in place of a diamond on a wedding ring. Your wife's prob…”

“John Nobody, a Nobody Inc. spokesperson, declined to comment. Or prove his exis…”

“I can play the trumpet, but only if I have a sufficient quantity of anal lube.”

“There’s cat feces in my Batman costume, and all the lines in my screenplay were…”