I am a great customer. I’m not a loyal customer, but that’s what makes me great—my willingness to shop other brands for better buys.

“She said, “Name something people only use once.” I said, “The phrase, ‘You cowa…”

“Cupid, that chubby cherub love dispenser, is dead. But before he died, he appoi…”

“4 am—if I’m ever up that early, it’s because I’m up that late.”

“After months of training, I broke the record. Then right after that I celebrate…”