I am a tree, though I’m not a shady character. I’m like a tree in winter.

“I went to school to be a comedian. I was always cracking jokes in class. And af…”

“I like watching water drops drip off my eyelashes. Reminds me that I’m not the …”

“I don’t want to step on anybody’s toes, particularly not mine. Especially not w…”

“I decorated my ballsack in his honor. I wrote, “Welcome home, dad.”