I am mad in love like fire, and I speak sushi after a night of fingernail sandwiches. Last night’s sex was so scratchy that this morning my throat is sore.

“I’m itching for battle—with a mosquito bite. The only thing in life I’ll scratc…”

“I was driving on the highway and saw an orange sign on the side of the road tha…”

“I need to protect myself from myself. And my clone.”

“I don’t use coarse humor, but occasionally I’ll joke about intercourse—between …”