I am my own tornado. Instead of panicking, I run in circles and scream.

“Yes, ma’am, I will take seconds. Your dinner tastes like excrement. I scream, y…”

“I have a shirt that’s skin tight. It’s made from human flesh.”

“The scent of success, it smells like body odor.”

“US highways are in such disrepair that instead of repaving, they should just mo…”