I am the Wakeboard of Love, if you catch my drift.

“I saw a white toilet, with no plumbing, alone in a field of snow. Well, almost …”

“If there were a speedometer that went from 0-1, that’d measure how fast I fell …”

“The basketball team was trailing by three points. I trail by four points—north,…”

“With friends like me, who needs mannequins? My love for you is statuesque. Come…”