I ate a half a cookie, but not because I wanted to. I ate it out of necessity.

“The ultimate weapon is Lady Gaga’s music. Why kill the enemy when you can play …”

“I’ll write something that’s 111% true. It’ll be so true that it’ll be 100% fals…”

“I long for your love like shortness of breath. Somebody get me an inhaler!”

“I don’t like sleeping, but I do like watching the inside of my eyelids. That’s …”