I ate a pound cake today, but I gained two.

“My ex girlfriend said she’d never cheat on me. Well, she did—with an accountant…”

“The government is so efficient it often takes two people to do the work of one.…”

“A plan won’t fly without dedication, perseverance, or wings. A plane won’t fly …”

“When she broke up with me, I didn’t break down or break in to her apartment jus…”