I believe two gays have just as much right to marry as one guy has the right to commit suicide. I mean, you're killing yourself either way, except in marriage it’s assisted suicide.

“Last February had 29 days. It wasn’t a leap year, but me and 28 of my clones ea…”

“I like to switch things up by keeping things the same. People never expect it.”

“Life seems so am/pm. But really it’s not as balanced as all that.”

“Guacamole makes an excellent facial cream. It won’t reduce wrinkles, but I’d su…”