I broke down when we broke up, but I didn’t break in to her house just to break out of my routine.

“My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if…”

“If you sound like shit, you sound like smell—which is crazy because smell looks…”

“Feeling depressed? Lift your chin up, pull your shoulders back, raise your arms…”

“Conspiracy theorists like to claim NASA’s moon landing was faked. Well of cours…”