I call masturbating “Gregging,” named not after a man named Greg, but a guy named Dave.

“A blanket could be used to announce your intention to announce your intentions.…”

“If you replace the letter "s" with the letter "x," you can make a lot of plural…”

“I love tables. And dancing. Oh, and I love table dancing, although Grandmother …”

“I’ve got hair in my mouth, because I replaced my teeth with my cat. This makes …”