I came from a broken home. My bedroom window was cracked.

“My wife keeps me busy while she talks—I’m not listening, but rather making the …”

“A brick could be used instead of a red light. They’re both red, and I’d run bot…”

“I got my girlfriend knocked up. Next time I’ll ring the doorbell before I enter…”

“After learning the foreign language Gibberish, I became a dream spokesman.”