I can guess which car my boss drives. I’ll just look for the one with the hole in the back, like an asshole.

“I think I just inhaled a cloud shaped like the ghost of my grandpa, and all I h…”

“My friends mess around with my friends—and my friends’ bikes. Sex with bicycles…”

“Funerals, Coffins, and Death. It’s not just a way of life; it’s also for breakf…”

“The only time I’ll eat Italian wedding soup is if I’m wearing a tuxedo and eati…”