I can only think of one good reason not to kill you: because if I killed you, I’d have to bury you, and that means shoveling. And I hate shoveling almost as much as I hate digging up dirt on politicians.

“I rearranged the letters of the word “neologism” to make the word neologism its…”

“Here you’ll find everything you don’t need—and much less!”

“Cheyenne is shyin’ away from me. Why, Oming? I love you like a herd of buffalo …”

“I like movies that keep me guessing until the end. I always guess flowers, beca…”