I can play the trumpet, but only if I have a sufficient quantity of anal lube.

“My cat will love you more than me. He won’t love you more than he loves me, but…”

“A brick could be tied to a cape, and then exalted as a superhero. Is that any m…”

“I’m in the Just Under A Decade club. That’s how long it took me to get a four-y…”

“I put all my eggs in one basket, and then I jizzed all over them. I'm a natural…”