I can read people like an open book, especially if their named Braille, and I’m in a touchy-feely mood.

“I remember the good old days. You must remember the good old days, because they…”

“Don’t let your inability to see get in the way of your vision.”

“Your dog looks dirty. You could give it a bath, or I could piss on it for free.…”

“Your fate is like a new jar of peanut butter. It may be sealed, but you can cho…”