I can smell a trap. It smells like my ass.

“Love doesn’t just have arms to embrace you; it also has arms that attach to the…”

“I write like I make love: alone in my bathtub, as I let the fantasy overflow an…”

“My wife told me she’d meet me at the mall, and I said, “Don’t be silly. We’ve a…”

“I'm the kind of guy who puts other people first. Particularly if there’s danger…”