I can’t tell my ass from a hole in the ground. Especially if that hole is hairy and emits foul odors.

“I’m a dyslexic dancer. Instead of leading the women, I follow. Quick, cab drive…”

“My TV’s remote control didn’t have a source of energy, so I poured coffee in it…”

“I would take a trip down Memory Lane, but with gas prices sky high, forget abou…”

“A swimming pool full of coffee would be great to jump in first thing in the mor…”