I collect collect calls from the 80s. I prefer them in mint condition, meaning the phone's still ringing.

“I've been able to sleep with my eyes open ever since I started watching basebal…”

“I want to put silencers on all guns. That way war will be nothing more than a w…”

“Sitting down never feels so great as after standing for eight hours on someone’…”

“What’s furry, has four legs, and meows? My dinner, before I killed and cooked i…”