I collect the most valuable thing in the world—free time. But unlike other priceless things, I don’t need a safe to keep it safe, because I keep all my free time in the past, where nobody can touch it—not even me. My collection grows larger every day.

“Dr. Chuck “Chuckles” Gigglebrooks, lead researcher at the National Association …”

“A brick could be used to measure the speed of gravity, but an apple offers a ta…”

“I remember I laughed so hard I cried. But my response was half appropriate, bec…”

“I eat overcast skies for breakfast, because sunlight isn’t filling enough. As a…”