I could either buy one missile, or 88,000 cups of coffee. Both would wake me up, but the coffee would also wake up North Korea. I’ll go with the coffee.


“I am the sphinx of love. But I didn’t used to be. I used to be a sphink—which h…”

“Coffee and donuts go together like government policy and subsequent poverty.”

“The devil appears in many forms, but the most nefarious of all are tax forms.”

“If I say “No decision has been made,” it’s a lie—because I have decided to rema…”