I could save money if I ate my coworker’s pussy for lunch, rather than going to a restaurant.

“I feel self-conscious calling my cat fat in front of a fat person, considering …”

“I’ve been giving my armpits mixed signals, may they come to know peace, prosper…”

“Ah, the good ol’ days. I remember those days. That was before your time. It was…”

“Love is like breakfast with Mildred. Who’s Mildred? How the heck should I know?…”