I could tell we were going to get along from the way he wiped his ass—on my tie.

“With your fertile eggs, and my semen, we’d make a delicious omelet.”

“I didn’t have time to bury the money. All my precious time was taken up burying…”

“After the first meal with a new girlfriend’s family, I always like to say, “Wil…”

“I’ll steal the letter X, and replace it with treasure. So sex would then be spe…”