I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal!

“If a man is choking to death on a bite of steak, there is really only one thing…”

“Please don’t step on my penis. And pick it up off the floor if you see it’s fal…”

“I like how cats’ ears can flip inside out. It’s as if they’re saying, Keep talk…”

“I’m on a shoestring budget, which means I don’t have any extra money to buy the…”