I cut an inch off of every straw I see, just to make the world suck a little less.


“Her golden hair moved like a hundred moths, all trying to saturate themselves i…”

“I don’t like boxing. I prefer bagging.”

“The price of gold is up 14 fold since last time I tried unfolding it. And laund…”

“I’m in disguise. I’m disguised as myself, and I’m a master of disguise, so that…”