I dig art. With a shovel. In the cemetery.

“I yelled at my cat to knock it off, and sure enough, he did. And it broke.”

“It’s a real pleasure accepting an award—for someone else. Especially if they ar…”

“A brick could be used to support a wobbly table. Who got that table drunk, anyw…”

“I didn’t fire my gun. I gave it a promotion.”