I discovered a time capsule from WWII disguised as a bomb. I’m going to open it with my screwdriver-like teeth.

“On the subject of how to make friends, I would give you some tips, but I just d…”

“I wear loud clothes. They aren’t bright colors, but I do have speakers sewn int…”

“I always never leave things for the last minute. I leave them for 59 seconds.”

“I find it more polite when I yawn without opening my mouth. I also talk this wa…”