I don’t demand much. All I expect is for you to love me so much you kill yourself just to get my attention.

“I eat fog for breakfast, and I shit out steamy love scenes from the 80s.”

“The topic of weather isn’t small talk, when you’re conversing with a meteorolog…”

“A brick could be used to keep your sandwich pressed down, so your meat doesn't …”

“Despite marking the spot, Generation X has no treasure. How could they, when I …”