I don’t know what’s in the box, but I love it. Unopened gifts contain hope.


“Sexcess—it’s about sex in excess and success all rolled up into one sweaty ball.”

“My beard has started growing a beard of its own, and I’m stuck having to take i…”

“A brick and a blanket walk into a bar, and the bartender turns and says, “What …”

“I wrote my name on the list 10 years ago, and under the date I wrote “In the fu…”