I don’t need your sympathy, unless it comes in the form of a check or cash. I also accept money orders.

“I can’t talk you out of what your heart is set on. I just hope you set it on th…”

“I want to make slow, passionate rush hour to a pack of masturbation.”

“What’s with the zombie craze? Zombies are half alive, half dead, right? Sounds …”

“American civilization isn’t advancing as fast as our military is. The only prob…”