I don’t understand open relationships. My relationship is like a normal business at 5:01 pm: very much closed.

“If you were to ask me what’s under my bed, I’d tell you shoes. They’re brown, a…”

“A brick could be used to silence your critics. Think of it like a really thick …”

“One brick is not a wall. Unless you’re an ant, and then it’s not only a wall, i…”

“I want my relationship with my girlfriend to be built on trust, not toothpicks,…”