I drink coffee like goats walk on tightropes. It’s fun to watch, but it sure would be easier if this monkey dressed like a cowboy would get off my back.

“I like watching other people watching other people.”

“What is the greatest mystery of the universe? The answer is brick. Or is it bla…”

“Sometimes I put on a black scuba suit and go walking on the beach, to relax. If…”

“I’m a door-to-door salesman. I sell doors. If I can’t knock on yours, because y…”