I drove your lunch to work, and I parked it in my stomach.

“You wouldn’t try to mow your lawn with an electric razor, like it was a green b…”

“It has always been a fantasy of mine to drive a bulldozer. If I had a bulldozer…”

“A blanket could be used as a cat. Wait, I have that backwards. A cat could be u…”

“I have a little accent. I speak with a trace of midget.”