I enjoy scratching itches on my body with my beard stubble. The worst though is when my lower back itches.

“There are many men who deserve to die. The most deserving are those that claim …”

“A brick could be used as a paperweight, for people whose writing isn’t as dense…”

“My wife keeps me busy while she talks—I’m not listening, but rather making the …”

“I admire the Stanley Cup. I’ll bet winning it could provide enough clean water …”