I enjoy the small things in life. Like my penis.

“Yesterday I complained of chest pains. My cat scratched my nipples.”

“Your fate is like a new jar of peanut butter. It may be sealed, but you can cho…”

“I was a bellman once. A bellman of love. The hospitality industry taught me a l…”

“My information is based on yesterday’s newspaper. But that’s OK, because I’m li…”