I gave him a pet name, even though he wasn’t my pet, he was my boss. I don’t know why he fired me. I thought “Dick Nose” was a delightfully cute name.

“I once saw a snake having sex with a vulture, and I thought, It’s just business…”

“Generally, competition is a good thing. But not when it’s between two nipples, …”

“Bread can soak up soup, but can it soak up all my love for you? I doubt it. You…”

“I’ve got to have kids of my own. If not, who’s going to ascend to my throne?”