I got a small package in the mail today, and I thought it was the midget stripper I bought off eBay. But it was just a pair of shoes I ordered. Didn’t matter, I still made them dance for me.

“If you want walking dolphins and talking sandwiches, you’re lucky to have me bu…”

“I make love sensually, and without the aid of a fancy recipe. I just open the b…”

“If love had the texture of a turtle, and the taste of a rabbit, would you say w…”

“If you drink, you risk divulging your secrets. Here, have another glass.”