I got him a cool gift. I got him a pack of razors, and a really furry dead cat.

“I would give you all my love, but I’m afraid I’d get nothing in return. And com…”

“I am a caged lion living like a free-range lamb.”

“Things I’ve learned the hard way: #1) When you’re making a door-to-door sales p…”

“Dogs are exceptionally intelligent creatures. My dog, for example, taught me th…”